You win, I finally give up.
Today was supposed to my boyfriends and I one year and I am torturing myself with hanging out with his family and going military ball dress shopping for my best friend :(
It wasn’t suppose to be like this…
Welp..it’s official. As of last night my boyfriend and I broke up.
I honestly don’t even know what to feel. We dated for 10 months and within those 10 months I have never been happier being with someone. Don’t get me wrong, we definitely have had our fall outs. Some of them made us stronger and some made us fall even more apart.
I honestly couldn’t really tell you as to why we even broke up. From what he told me, he just doesn’t have the same feelings like he used to and he wants to focus on his career. The only issue I have is that I never got in between him and the military. I was always there for him being one of his biggest supporters. I went to every graduation, spent hundreds of dollars, and stood by him even when I didn’t know what was going to happen. The 3 months of boot camp where we could only write letters to each other, the month of MCT where we only really talked on the phone once and then him even leaving again to go to school. I was always there for him and I’m really confused as to why he can just drop someone who cares for him sooo much.
This is going to be the hardest break up I’m ever going to go through right now and I don’t know how to feel. Last night I was so lost and sad and angry and today I’m just numb. I never wanted to not be with him but loving someone their happiness has to come before yours so if he’s happier without me then so be it.
I pray that one day I will be with someone who appreciates me just as much as I appreciate him. And I’ll actually know what it feels like to have someone love me back.